Another side of Christmas

I was just thinking today about the holiday season and how people are generally happier and in a more celebratory mood. This is what makes it my favorite time of year. People aren't afraid to talk openly about religious beliefs and good will generally abounds.
I realized, though, that this can also cause a problem. Just because Christmas approaches, doesn't mean problems go away. There are a lot of people in pain in the world due to hunger, poverty, disease, death and tough family situations. Some have remedies but there are a lot of hurts that you can't fix. And for someone going through a tough time during the holidays, the hurt becomes deeper because of the pressure to be cheerful because hey, it's Christmas. No one wants to 'ruin the party' so to speak. We think of others during the Christmas season so someone hurting might think they have to put on a face for the sake of others and bottle up the turmoil inside.
I'm not saying we should be all doom and gloom during the holidays. I'm just saying it's not necessary to completely hide your feelings in order to have the "perfect Christmas."
Let's think about what Christmas is all about.
NOT a baby in a manger as many focus on, but a Savior who has given his life so we can be happy eternally.
I'll share my favorite scripture which goes perfectly with this. It's from the Book of Mormon, Alma 7:11

"And he shall go forth suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and  this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."  (emphasis added)

Christ did not suffer for just our sins. He felt every pain and sickness and infirmity we will ever feel. Whatever hard time you're going through he has felt that. He did that so he can stand there right next to you and say, "I know how you feel."
So for those who are hurting during the holiday season, don't feel pressure to run faster than you have strength. You can't run a marathon with a broken leg and God understands that.
Know that you are loved and others mourn with you during your times of trial. Take this time not to feel pressure to perform
but to be healed by Him who has the power to do so.

Paying Attention

They get so big so fast!  Can you imagine more than doubling your body weight in four months? Julia rolled over for the first time by herself today.  I put her on her back, washed some dishes, and when I came back she was on her stomach.  I thought Zach had rolled her over but he hadn't.  She must have done it by herself.  I've got to be careful or I'll miss little moments like that.  I was talking to a lady tonight who said she missed her daughter's first crawl because she was doing dishes. She felt something on her foot, looked down and her baby had crawled to her from the other room, immensely proud of herself.  As President Monson so aptly put it, "Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved."  Especially dirty dishes. :-)

Cute Things Kids Do That Aren't So Cute/Acceptable As An Adult

*Stare at people

*Drooling

*Grabbing stuff that isn't yours

*Putting everything in your mouth

*Fascination with simple objects

*Chubby Thighs

*Crying because you're hungry

*Crazy hair

*No Makeup

Life Lessons

Some I've learned from my family and friends, some I've learned by experience.

*Don't let shiny things in the store make you forget all the perfectly good things you already have at home.

*If you're sorely tempted to buy something you know you don't absolutely need, just remind yourself, "I've lived without it this long. I can keep living without it!"


*If you know you can't resist the temptation to spend money, just don't go in the store.

*Never grocery shop when you're hungry if you can help it.

*Don't worry about being the best.  There's always someone better than you and worse than you.  The only person you should be competing against is yourself.

*Empty yogurt containers work far better than gladware.  Put mismatched lids on top to remember which are leftovers and which is the actual yogurt. :-)

*Always assume the best about people.  More often than not you'll be right.

*It's okay to have different opinions and beliefs.  Just agree to disagree and we can all be friends.

*If you won't care about it in ten years, don't keep it.

*Starting a friendly conversation with your cashier can make a friend out of an errand.

*Always talk about people as if you wouldn't mind if they overheard what you said about them.

*Live with no regrets if you can.

*If you can make it, don't buy it.

*You can make a conscious decision to be happy no matter your circumstances.

*It takes two people to have an argument. All it takes to get along is one person who decides that the other person is more important than them being right.

Mind Blowing

I had a very interesting religious discussion with a friend tonight. We talked, among other things, about time. There are some pretty mind-blowing aspects of time.  Time is a man-made thing.  Out time frame is exclusive to our planet alone. God does not operate on man's time frame.  I can't even imagine what it would be like to not be limited by time.  We live our lives day by day, minute by minute and second by second.  But what if there were no seconds or minutes or hours or days? There is just eternity.  The past, present and future all melt into one with our Heavenly Father.  That is how He operates.  His time is one continuous circle.  That is how he can listen to all humanity's prayers at one time.  That is how Jesus Christ could atone for all the sins of people living not only in the past but who ever would live on the earth.   My friend mentioned that technically we could pray for our ancestors as if they're still alive.  That makes sense to me.  If God in the past knew that in the future we would pray for our ancestors, he could bless them as if we lived at the same time as our ancestors.   Mind blowing huh?

Are We Doomed? Humanitarians and Tree Huggers

I watched a documentary this past week about the supposed truth about overpopulation. Apparently some are concerned that the earth is becoming overcrowded and won't be able to support the rising population. The professor who was directing this documentary was pointing out that things are not as bad as it seems.  Overall people are having less children.  At the same time, people are living longer.  So it all balances out.  He pointed something out that really made me think.
First of all, if you could wish for one thing to make the world a better place, what would it be? The eradication of extreme poverty? A cleaner atmosphere?  Fewer natural disasters?  I think we might be looking in the wrong place for the solution to world problems.  Let's say that world poverty disappears.  Viola! Everyone has access to basic comforts and technologies.  How many more washing machines are running? How many more air conditioners and televisions and electric lights? A lot considering 21% of the world population in 2010 lived in extreme poverty (earning about $1.25 per day)(World Bank Poverty Overview, 2014).  Where does that electricity come from? With electricity usage increasing 20%, we'll have to burn that many more fossil fuels which increases global warming contributing to extreme weather conditions.   So that's not the answer.  So what if everyone stops using fossil fuels?  We can no longer drive cars, use telephones or computers or even turn on a light.  You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that wouldn't be a smart idea.  So are we doomed no matter what?
I believe the answer to our problems would be to focus more resources on clean energy.  If there would be a way to power technology without burning fossil fuels, it would be possible to eradicate many of the world's difficulties at once.  That would be my wish.

More Pictures

She's rolling over!!! Almost...

I'm warmin' up my vocalizers!

Julia has been using her voice a lot more.  It's so cute to hear her experiment with sounds and try to communicate with us.

FHE fun

When the baby is asleep, the REAL playtime begins!!!

Can't say the Wetzels don't know how to have a good time!

Playtime

Thinking about reaching for stuff.....

peekaboo!

Just When You Think She Couldn't Get Cuter

This is what happens when she sleeps for 12 hours at night :-).  Love it! A good night's sleep makes such a difference to one's outlook on life.

Not Seen

If it sounds like any of my posts are preachy, here's the reason.  I'm in the habit of giving myself pep-talks.  I've found that a lot of the answers to my questions about things lie in simple common sense.  Answers come if I just talk to myself long enough and get my mind on the right wavelength.  So if it sounds like i'm preaching to you, it's actually mostly to myself.  I'm trying to sort through my thoughts to find the heart of what's bothering me and what might make it feel better.  Writing has always helped to do that.

That being said, I've been thinking of ways I can feel fulfilled as a mother.  I've grown up learning in church how faith is believing in things which are hoped for and not seen (Alma 32).  I'm starting to realize the significance of that.  I've graduated from college and started my lifetime career as a mother.  This is something school does not prepare you for, exactly the opposite.  School trains you to feel fulfilled in things which are seen.  You do assignments, turn them in and receive an evaluation.  Fulfillment comes from receiving a positive evaluation. This happens so many times over the 12+ years of schooling that it becomes harder to feel fulfilled in any other way.  Now as a stay-at-home mom, there are no assignments, at least not ones you receive grades on.  You don't get a standardized report card to let you know how well you're doing.  People can give you compliments on how well you children are behaved, how cute they are, etc. but at the end of the day it seems you're on your own to truly feel satisfied with your daily work.  Most of a mother's work is not seen.  You don't see the pile of dishes that has just been done.  You don't see all the dirty diapers that have been changed.  When you look at a mother, all you see is a snapshot of what is.  What you don't see is what has been done.
I know i'm smart.  I know I could do anything I set my mind to if I chose.  I could be a musician, I could be an author, I could be a teacher, I could go to law school with Zach. People have told me things like this multiple times. While this is flattering, one message I get is this: being an at-home-mom is not enough and you should be doing more with your life than wasting your talents.
Now, as a mom I think I need to find a way to shift my focus from finding fulfillment from things that are seen to things that are not seen.  Even if the dishes are not done, even if my house is not perfectly clean, even if my kids get annoying and bratty sometimes, I know I can still be happy with my life.  One quote that I've always liked is this: Put the Lord first and everything will either fall into place or fall out of your life. I think that's my answer for now.

The Many Faces of Julia

Daddy-daughter fun

There's such a cute connection between these two. :-)

Sunday Thoughts

We were talking about David and Bathsheba in Sunday School today. Just some thoughts I had on the subject. I've always loved the Veggie Tales version of that: King George and the Ducky. He had hundreds of perfect rubber duckies already but he wanted another one. I don't think what David did was any less childish: I don't care how many toys I already have, I want that one! Part of David's sin, at least where he started, was not being grateful for the blessings he already had. Colossians 3:15 says, "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful." Why are we commanded to be thankful? Ingratitude can lead to coveting what someone else has. As David showed, it can lead to a slippery slope downward too. I guess the key is to just be happy with what you have. Remember how many blessings Heavenly Father has already given you and don't compare. To present an analogy, I've noticed whenever I go shopping I magically forget everything I already have at home. I'll buy a pair of shoes then get home and realize I already have more pairs than I'll ever wear. That's one reason I don't like to go shopping. So to prevent ingratitude, just don't "go shopping." Count your blessings instead of sticking them in the back of your closet to forget. That prevents a lot of problems before they start.

The Many Faces of Jujube

GIMME!!!

NOT FAIR!

WHY, HELLO!

HOW AMUSING!

OOH! SHINY!

DANCE!

Old McDonald had a Julia

Daddy is using his vocal performance major in new ways.  And Julia loves it.

Do you ever feel like you don't matter? Like no one notices you?  Like you're nothing special.  This is particularly easy when you seem to be surrounded by the most talented people in the world.  Freshman year in college is a time when a lot of people feel this way.  You have just come from high school where half the students don't even want to be there.   Now you're in college where everyone's paying to be there.  And everyone seems to have it all together.  Except you.  You have no clue what you're up against.  I think the great secret is actually that it doesn't matter.  Who says you have to have the answers to life's questions before you experience it?  The more I live, the more I believe in Ms Frizzle's philosophy:  Take chances, make mistakes, get messy.  What she doesn't tell us is that after the mess comes the miracles.  The willingness to take chances makes you special no matter how many times you get messy.  

The popular mentality is that you have to succeed in comparison with those around you to be successful.  You are only a success if you are at the top of your class or if you win the competition or you get that job.  In reality, there is no comparison.  You should really only ever compare yourself against yourself.  How far have you personally come in the past week, month or year?  Who cares how much so-and-so improved even if they started at the same place as you?  It doesn't matter.   You can be special just because you're you.  Sounds cheesy, but it's true.

Alma 26:37  "God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth.  Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever."

20 Bad Habits that Contribute to Mom Burnout

Great article.

Stepping Forward

When I think about where I'd like to see my life go, I'd say that I would like to end up in Arizona.  I'd like to live close enough to family to be able to visit at times other than a holiday.  I started to realize that I'm wanting to go back to where i'm comfortable.  I want my kids to grow up the way I grew up because that's what i'm used to. I want to be around extended family because that's how I grew up.  I'm starting to realize something.  Different is okay.  And different is inevitable because things are changing whether I like it or not. One thing that is changing is my family.  I have a husband and a daughter now.  They are my immediate family.  What used to be my immediate family is now my extended family.  Growing up, my immediate family had customs and traditions.  Some of these came from my parents' families but some were unique to us.  And those honestly were some of my favorite.  My husband and I and our children will have our own unique experiences, traditions and customs that might be similar to the way we grew up or they might be different.  That's ok.  One of my favorite quotes is "The past is to be learned from, not lived in." (Jeffrey R. Holland)  As things change it's understandable to be a little shook up when you don't know what's ahead.  But in the end you just need to step forward and take what life gives you. There will be chances to relive my childhood with my children and there will be many new things to experience together.  It probably won't go according to plan but it will be perfect for us.