It was the worst of times

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, quite literally for me in the last few months. Many pros and just as many cons. They say what doesn't kill you will make you stronger but at some point every runner hits their wall and I just keep hoping I haven't hit mine. I'm not trying to throw myself a pity party, just trying to process.
Let's not discuss the cons in particular because most of them are intensely personal plus I don't believe rehashing them here will change anything. I also don't believe any of them would have been nearly as strong had I not faced them all in a fairly short period of time during a summer where our family was displaced during my husband's internship.
Change aggravates my depression and there has been a lot of change, mostly for the good. But seriously, this was like the perfect storm for my personal emotional issues.
We did have a lot of fun. I was greatly inspired by the beauty of nature which resulted in many paintings. My bond with my daughter grew as we spent more time together discovering a new place. This has led to me cutting back my workload severely so I can continue that pattern back home and it has been wonderful.
We got to stay at a lake house in Washington without internet or cell phone service for a week which provided a much needed escape from the world and stresses we had been through.
We also feel like we know ourselves better and can better sympathize with others we never imagined we could.
I've heard a quote that said 'growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.' Right now I feel like if growing up is optional it comes at a price. It's like a kid going through school where they still beat them with rulers thinking like obeying the rules is optional. Sometimes life smacks you hard and makes you grow up.
I feel like I need to work on forgiveness more. I need to forgive those who have offended me including myself. I need to find a way to be grateful for life happening the way it did instead of looking back with dread and trying to forget it. Several of the issues which came up are not going away any time soon so I need to learn to live with them and still find happiness.
I may not be as solid as I am during calmer times, I actually feel quite frail emotionally. I'm clinging to hope in the covenants I have made with my Heavenly Father. If life were a war I would be the bleeding soldier searching for the medic and praying the rest of the army holds up our side until i'm strong enough to engage again. I'm clinging to the hope that things will get better and brighter. I know i've received spiritual confirmations to that end and though I don't always feel it all I can do is keep going with that hope.